Big Drugs About To Go Generic

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Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

Big Drugs About To Go Generic

The patents of six of the 10 bestselling prescription drugs will expire over the next two years, making room for cheaper generic equivalents. What do you think?

  • "I guess I could put the generic drug in some old Lipitor packaging so people will still think I’m well off."

    Anna Pepys
    General Handling Supervisor
  • "I hope they don't cheapen the production value of the commercials. It's nice to see baby boomers dressed in neutral colors looking so self-assured."

    Al Childs
    Systems Analyst
  • "Just two years, huh? Yeah, I think I can last that long."

    Neil Bond
    Unemployed