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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Bigfoot Corpse A Fraud

Members of Search For Bigfoot, Inc. said they had been tricked into buying a fake Sasquatch body from an ex-policeman. What do you think?
  • "I truly empathize with those guys because the exact same thing happened to me, but with a Burberry scarf."

    Jordan Pressler Personal Assistant
  • "Hopefully they can put all this behind them and continue their important work."

    Keith Crowley Event Planner
  • "So that means...the real Sasquatch is still on the loose! Oh no!"

    Patty Paik Accountant

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