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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Bill Clinton, George W. Bush Watch NCAA Final Together

Former U.S. presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush sat together in a luxury box at last night’s NCAA Division I championship game, with Laura Bush telling reporters that the two have become buddies in recent years and avoid talking politics with each other. What do you think?

  • “Illuminati get all the best seats.”

    Matt Polan Systems Analyst
  • “I’d love to get a beer somewhere far away from both of them.”

    Scott LaMarche Car Stereo Reviewer
  • “It’s nice to know that as long as we don’t talk about anything important, we can all get along.”

    Margaux Bischof T-Shirt Screener

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