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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bill Clinton Joins Twitter

Former president Bill Clinton sent out his first tweet last night under the name @billclinton and has already amassed some 400,000 followers. What do you think?

  • “I’ll wait a few weeks before following him. Don’t want to seem too desperate.”

    Marta Hernandez Baker
  • “Twitter is a good way to get your voice heard.”

    Joshua Driver Parking Lot Attendant
  • “Then who the hell is @TheRealBillyClint?”

    Mike Fleury Unemployed
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