adBlockCheck

Entertainment

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
End Of Section
  • More News

Bill O'Reilly Sex Scandal

Last week, a Fox News Channel producer sued Bill O'Reilly for sexual harassment, alleging that the cable host pressured her into phone sex. What do you think?
  • "Someone's coming at Bill O'Reilly with lurid public accusations of a heinous personal nature? Wow. Sometimes life can be so... fair."

    Peggy Knight Art Teacher
  • "He wasn't sexually harassing her. He was just looking out for her, like he's doing for all of us, all the time."

    Jonathan Warren Announcer
  • "No wonder it costs $3.99 a minute to call in to 'The Factor.'"

    Shawn Jiminez Assessor
  • "Whether Andrea Mackris' claims are true or false, one thing is certain—that woman is never working for the vast right-wing conspiracy again."

    Curtis Fletcher Systems Analyst
  • "This is just another example of the liberal media's bias against self-destructive, narcissistic, screaming sexist assholes."

    Andy Vaughn Clerk
  • "Just once, I'd like to hear about a sex scandal with honest-to-God penetration."

    Cindy Beck Food Scientist
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings