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Billionaire Calls For High-Speed Tube Transit

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Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

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Billionaire Calls For High-Speed Tube Transit

California billionaire Elon Musk unveiled his plan for a futuristic transportation system, the Hyperloop, which would send passengers at 800 miles per hour through above-ground steel tubes and cut travel time between Los Angeles and San Francisco to 30 minutes. What do you think?

  • “Wow. So you could live in L.A., work in San Fran, and disintegrate somewhere outside Bakersfield.”

    Doug Wallace
    Oceanographer
  • “I’ll always remember today as the last time I heard about this incredible project.”

    Sylvia Groeschel
    Hearing Aid Salesman
  • “What am I supposed to do for 30 minutes?”

    Zade Mingalone
    Unemployed

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