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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Billions Of Cicadas Begin Swarming East Coast

After 17 years underground, as many as one trillion so-called Brood II cicadas are beginning to emerge along the East Coast for their brief two- to four-week adulthood, during which time they will sing, feed, mate, and lay eggs. What do you think?

  • “God, I’m getting sick of those things. Every single fucking 17 years.”

    Edward Floret Ski Patroller
  • “Myself, I’ve always enjoyed Brood I much more.”

    Patricia Deschamps Vulcanizer
  • “What a coincidence. I’m also thinking of emerging on the East Coast to feed and hopefully mate.”

    Lionel Tracy Meat Smoker
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