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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Billions Of Cicadas Begin Swarming East Coast

After 17 years underground, as many as one trillion so-called Brood II cicadas are beginning to emerge along the East Coast for their brief two- to four-week adulthood, during which time they will sing, feed, mate, and lay eggs. What do you think?

  • “God, I’m getting sick of those things. Every single fucking 17 years.”

    Edward Floret Ski Patroller
  • “Myself, I’ve always enjoyed Brood I much more.”

    Patricia Deschamps Vulcanizer
  • “What a coincidence. I’m also thinking of emerging on the East Coast to feed and hopefully mate.”

    Lionel Tracy Meat Smoker
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