adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Bin Laden’s Personal Documents Made Public

The Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released Osama bin Laden’s personal documents, including several written letters and his will. What do you think?

  • “I’m going to be so mad if he was talking shit about us in those letters.”

    Karl Dogen Soil Enricher
  • “You’re telling me he spent all that time in hiding and didn’t even put together a rough outline for his memoirs?”

    Petunia Ward Systems Analyst
  • “The guy whose job it was to burn everything really screwed up.”

    Chuck Baille Jury Duty Enthusiast
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close