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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Bird Flu Vaccine Approved

The first vaccine for avian flu was recently approved by the Food and Drug Administration. What do you think?
  • "Just as the HPV vaccine only encourages sexual intercourse, this vaccine will foster and normalize interaction with birds."

    Brad Emery Systems Analyst
  • "Thank God, because I've just been tearing through the beef jerky and bottled water in my personal pandemic stockpile.

    Debbie Hirsch Embroiderer
  • "I thought bird flu was last year. Did that never happen? I am pretty sure it already happened."

    John Weiss Window Washer
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