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Black Licorice Linked To Irregular Heartbeat

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Black Licorice Linked To Irregular Heartbeat

A chemical compound in black licorice has been found to lower potassium in the blood and may cause irregular heartbeats. What do you think?

  • "Black licorice? What about horehound drops? Or rum balls? Has anyone thought to check on root beer barrels?"

    Earl Lucey
    Welt Beater
  • "This is what Twizzlers gets for trying to save money and not lobby the FDA this year."

    Gwen Schreiber
    Tank Cleaner
  • "I should probably stop prescribing it to my patients then."

    John Dreyfus
    Trip Follower

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