Blockbuster Asks Creditors For Money

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Vol 47 Issue 03

"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their los...

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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Blockbuster Asks Creditors For Money

Faltering video-rental behemoth Blockbuster Inc. is asking its bondholders for $200 to $250 million so it can exit bankruptcy. What do you think?

  • "I'd love to help, but Mrs. Geithner and I already loaned AIG $170 billion, so we're a little short at the moment."

    Timothy Geithner
    U.S. Treasury Secretary
  • "Will they accept mailed-in payments, or do you have to drop it in the return slot?"

    Kurt Williams
    Kennel Attendant
  • "Speaking of, have we still not found Harry And The Hendersons? Did anyone look behind the basement couch? This family is the worst."

    Heather Roberts
    Dairy Nutrition Consultant
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