Blockbuster Asks Creditors For Money

Top Headlines

Recent News

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Blockbuster Asks Creditors For Money

Faltering video-rental behemoth Blockbuster Inc. is asking its bondholders for $200 to $250 million so it can exit bankruptcy. What do you think?

  • "I'd love to help, but Mrs. Geithner and I already loaned AIG $170 billion, so we're a little short at the moment."

    Timothy Geithner U.S. Treasury Secretary
  • "Will they accept mailed-in payments, or do you have to drop it in the return slot?"

    Kurt Williams Kennel Attendant
  • "Speaking of, have we still not found Harry And The Hendersons? Did anyone look behind the basement couch? This family is the worst."

    Heather Roberts Dairy Nutrition Consultant


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close