adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Blockbuster Asks Creditors For Money

Faltering video-rental behemoth Blockbuster Inc. is asking its bondholders for $200 to $250 million so it can exit bankruptcy. What do you think?

  • "I'd love to help, but Mrs. Geithner and I already loaned AIG $170 billion, so we're a little short at the moment."

    Timothy Geithner U.S. Treasury Secretary
  • "Will they accept mailed-in payments, or do you have to drop it in the return slot?"

    Kurt Williams Kennel Attendant
  • "Speaking of, have we still not found Harry And The Hendersons? Did anyone look behind the basement couch? This family is the worst."

    Heather Roberts Dairy Nutrition Consultant
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close