adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

Bloodless Thai Coup

Thailand went through a bloodless coup while the President was out in the United States to address the United Nations. What do you think?
  • "I'm looking forward to seeing this on the political edition of While You Were Out."

    Cindy Daniels Cashier
  • "This is all in accordance with Thailand's 'Whoever sits in the President's chair is the President' policy."

    Chad Brackmeyer Systems Analyst
  • "It's not the best solution to removing a corrupt leader, but it sure does the job better than the electoral college."

    Brian Knuth Medical Receptionist

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close