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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Bloomberg Rule Would Hide Cigarettes From Sight

New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg is advancing a new initiative that would prevent tobacco products from being visibly displayed in city stores, forcing shopkeepers to hide the products in cabinets, under the counter, or elsewhere out of sight. What do you think?

  • “You New Yorkers are welcome to come out to St. Louis. You can stare at cigarettes all you want here.”

    Esteban Olmos Snuff Grinder
  • “That should work. Smokers are notoriously bad with object permanence.”

    Marci Shulak Barrel Repairer
  • “Could he have them hide Pringles from me, too? Daddy loves Pringles.”

    Carl Pyle Air-Compressor Operator
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