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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Bolton Steps Down

John Bolton, the American delegate to the UN, will step down when the current term runs out. What do you think?
  • "It's a shame. He had so many bridges yet to burn."

    Tammy Watson Systems Analyst
  • "With Bolton finally out of the way, the UN can get back to doing what it does best: solving the world's problems in a quick and efficient manner."

    Leo Schneider Grocery Bagger
  • "He was the one person I could count on to stand in the face of popular opinion and wear that absurd mustache."

    Ryan Smith Promotions Manager
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