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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Bolton's UN Nomination

The Senate continues to debate John Bolton's nomination for UN ambassador, with Bush threatening to appoint him in spite of their concerns. What do you think?
  • "Man, if the Democrats are going to block every terrible idea Bush has, nothing's ever going to get done in Washington."

    Mindy Biancardi Designer
  • "Appointing Bolton to the UN is like appointing a fish to ride a bicycle that he hates and wishes to destroy."

    Seth Johnson Systems Analyst
  • "He may look gruff, but I'm sure he's quite warm and grandfatherly once you get to know him. We're talking about Wilford Brimley, right?"

    David Wilcox Desk Clerk
  • "It's amazing! I've been following this story from day one, and I still don't give a shit."

    Kevin Mouton Sportscaster
  • "Some people say I look like John Bolton. You see the resemblance? No? It's the mustache."

    Brian Dixon Optician
  • "All these problems stem from the Bush Administration's refusal to hand over documents requested from them. Isn't about time we outlaw documents?"

    Kim Murillo Fire-Alarm Installer

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