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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bones Of King Richard III Found Beneath Parking Lot

Human remains found beneath a parking lot in the English city of Leicester were identified as those of King Richard III, who was widely reviled for murdering those who stood in his way and who died in battle in 1485. What do you think?

  • “This should take some of the heat off Prince Harry for a while.”

    Burt Spivia Systems Analyst
  • “I guess that solves the case of the haunted Leicester parking lot.”

    Farrah Sprigga Water Meter Reader
  • “Oh hell, now that jerk at the office Dave Plantagenet will never, ever shut up about this.”

    Sammy Busbee Zipper Setter
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