adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Bones Of King Richard III Found Beneath Parking Lot

Human remains found beneath a parking lot in the English city of Leicester were identified as those of King Richard III, who was widely reviled for murdering those who stood in his way and who died in battle in 1485. What do you think?

  • “This should take some of the heat off Prince Harry for a while.”

    Burt Spivia Systems Analyst
  • “I guess that solves the case of the haunted Leicester parking lot.”

    Farrah Sprigga Water Meter Reader
  • “Oh hell, now that jerk at the office Dave Plantagenet will never, ever shut up about this.”

    Sammy Busbee Zipper Setter
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings