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Boston's Big-Dig Fiasco

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Boston's Big-Dig Fiasco

Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney took over an inspection of the Big Dig, Boston's recently completed multi-billion-dollar tunnel highway system, after a collapsed ceiling panel killed a driver. What do you think?
  • "Listen, when the government spends $14 billion on anything, you are going to have to accept that an innocent person will die under a concrete slab."

    Mindy Wilmington Lathe Operator
  • "That's what they get for building it on the site of the ancient Indian burial tunnels."

    Adam Conklin Prosthetic Limb Salesperson
  • "How come when I spend day after day in a tunnel it's 'loitering and trespassing,' but when the governor of Massachusetts does it, it's an 'investigation'?"

    Brian Laskin Pizza Delivery Driver

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