adBlockCheck

Recent News

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
End Of Section
  • More News

Botched Hussein-Brother Hanging

The botched hanging of Saddam Hussein's half brother, which resulted in his beheading, has aroused suspicions and inflamed tensions in the Arab world. What do you think?
  • "Beheading might seem extreme to us, but hey—when in Rome."

    Amanda Cooper Systems Analyst
  • "I guess all that sectarian Shiite rhetoric about Sunnis having weak, floppy necks was right."

    Stephen McNaughton Carpet Installer
  • "I would strongly disagree with the term 'botched execution.' It seems to me these guys went the extra mile."

    Joshua Tiffer Judge

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close