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Boy Scouts Reaffirm Policy Banning Gays

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

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Boy Scouts Reaffirm Policy Banning Gays

Following a two-year review, the Boy Scouts of America reaffirmed its practice of denying membership to all openly gay scouts and scout leaders, saying such a policy was "in the best interest of Scouting." What do you think?

  • “If there’s one thing human sexual preference is powerless against, it’s a policy banning it."

    Nishat Goodman
    Midwife
  • “As I tell all my sons when they turn 10, you have to choose: It’s either the gays or the Boy Scouts. You can’t have it all.”

    Alexei Bacon
    Vintage Automobile Dealer
  • “I guess all the gay people who were going to join the Boy Scouts are just going to have to join the army instead.”

    Andrew Zelenev
    Tattoo Artist

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