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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Boy Scouts Reaffirm Policy Banning Gays

Following a two-year review, the Boy Scouts of America reaffirmed its practice of denying membership to all openly gay scouts and scout leaders, saying such a policy was "in the best interest of Scouting." What do you think?

  • “If there’s one thing human sexual preference is powerless against, it’s a policy banning it."

    Nishat Goodman Midwife
  • “As I tell all my sons when they turn 10, you have to choose: It’s either the gays or the Boy Scouts. You can’t have it all.”

    Alexei Bacon Vintage Automobile Dealer
  • “I guess all the gay people who were going to join the Boy Scouts are just going to have to join the army instead.”

    Andrew Zelenev Tattoo Artist

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