adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Boys Now Entering Puberty Younger

On the heels of research showing that some American girls are beginning puberty as young as 7 or 8 years of age, a new study suggests that boys are maturing 6 to 24 months earlier than they were four decades ago, though the cause remains unknown. What do you think?

  • “Are we sure kids today aren’t just getting uglier and smellier?”

    Liev Alexanian Educational Specialist
  • “Now that you mention it, 11-year-old boys have been looking a lot hotter over the past couple years.”

    Rita Hogan Gift Wrapper
  • “Ha, what a bunch of freaks!”

    Joel Chin Aligning Inspector
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close