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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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BP Buys Search Terms

BP paid Yahoo! and Google so that the oil company's own website would be the first result shown after a search for terms such as "oil spill." What do you think?

  • "They didn't have to go to all that trouble. I would've just ignored this whole thing for 10 bucks."

    Angie Duvall Chemical Absorption Operator
  • "If they're not careful, they could start being associated with oil spills."

    Chad Durant Systems Analyst
  • "That's pretty bad on BP's part, but it's not the worst thing they've ever done. The oil spill itself is the worst thing they've ever done."

    Alex Horne Lacquer Polisher
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