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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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'Brady Bunch' Creator Dead At 94

Sherwood Schwartz, creator of The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island, died Tuesday at the age of 94. What do you think?

  • "Those shows were a little before my time. But be sure to let me know when Full House and Hangin' With Mr. Cooper creator Jeff Franklin dies so I can feel the same sense of grief."

    Peter Grumby Handle Assembler
  • "I don’t think our society would know half as much about the versatility of coconuts without that man."

    Greg Grant Memorial Designer
  • "Nice job, critics. You finally killed him. Are you happy now?"

    Marcia Hinckley Unemployed

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