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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Brangelina Expecting

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt’s baby. What do you think?
  • “Apparently, the weak dollar has made it more cost-effective to produce certain things here than import them.”

    Albert Wesker Supervisor
  • “I believe that this miracle child will die for our sins, most likely during a taping of The Surreal Life 2034.

    Claire Redfield Assisted Living Professional
  • “Looks like Chris in accounting is 10 bucks poorer today. Pay up, sucker!”

    Leon Kennedy Engineer
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