Brazil Elects Its First Female President

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Vol 46 Issue 44

NBA Announces Plans To Play Game In London In Swimming Pool

NEW YORK—As part of a continuing effort to expand the NBA into international markets, Commissioner David Stern announced Wednesday that the New Jersey Nets and Toronto Raptors would play the league’s first regular season game in London in a sw...
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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Brazil Elects Its First Female President

Winning by more than 10 percentage points, Dilma Rousseff was elected the first female president of Brazil. What do you think?

  • "This would be great news, if 'first' were 'millionth' and 'Brazil' were 'the kitchen.' Am I right, fellas?"

    Fred Walter
    Sealant Mixer
  • "Maybe a warm female touch is just what that country needs to turn around its bland, gray, button-down personality."

    Solveg Russell
    Braille Proofreader
  • "Who cares? I just voted for a professional wrestling actress."

    Tommy Organ
    Galvanometer Assembler
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