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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Brazilian Scientists To Clone Endangered Species

Scientists in Brazil announced their intention to clone eight native species, including the jaguar, the bush dog, and varieties of bison and deer, as part of an effort to help save the endangered animals from extinction. What do you think?

  • “Whoa, that could actually be a cool idea for a movie. Imagine—an entire island filled with deer.”

    Janet Walsh Casualty Actuary
  • “Well, they better hurry, because I’m killing the next bush dog I see.”

    Arjun Amit Prop Maker
  • “Have we learned nothing from the hairy predicaments of cloning detailed in Multiplicity?”

    Frances Ritmanis Mycologist
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