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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Brazilian Scientists To Clone Endangered Species

Scientists in Brazil announced their intention to clone eight native species, including the jaguar, the bush dog, and varieties of bison and deer, as part of an effort to help save the endangered animals from extinction. What do you think?

  • “Whoa, that could actually be a cool idea for a movie. Imagine—an entire island filled with deer.”

    Janet Walsh Casualty Actuary
  • “Well, they better hurry, because I’m killing the next bush dog I see.”

    Arjun Amit Prop Maker
  • “Have we learned nothing from the hairy predicaments of cloning detailed in Multiplicity?”

    Frances Ritmanis Mycologist
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