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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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‘Breaking Bad’ Ends

The AMC hit Breaking Bad, starring Bryan Cranston as a high school chemistry teacher with cancer who turns to making methamphetamine and Aaron Paul as his young partner in crime, came to a close after five critically acclaimed seasons. What do you think?

  • “I knew it was going to be a great show the second it won its third Emmy.”

    Dirk Potvin Union Leader
  • “This show was an inspiration to any teacher who always wanted to hang out with that cool kid who graduated.”

    Shellie Marlowe Cement Pourer
  • “Oh, that’s right, I meant to buy meth today.”

    Harvey Hunter Garland Maker

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