Breast Implants For Teens

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BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Breast Implants For Teens

According to a recent study, there has been a sharp rise in breast-implant surgery among teenage girls over the past five years. What do you think about this trend?

  • "As a parent of a 15-year-old girl, I must speak out on this issue. You can't imagine how difficult it is to successfully raise an A- or B-cup student."

    Dan Warren
    Systems Analyst
  • "It's about time these girls started paying attention to their appearance."

    Margot Dutler
    Homemaker
  • "It's better to give a young girl the implants she wants in a safe, reliable medical facility than for her to get them on the street."

    Lydia Cole
    Hostess
  • "Our society is a victim of badly misplaced priorities. We should be focusing on our teens' sweet little asses."

    Marshall Boone
    Broker
  • "I don't think breast implants for teens are a good idea. It's hard enough to have sex with them as it is."

    Ted Ghopal
    Barber
  • "Why do teenage girls need breast implants to be more popular? Can't they learn to smoke instead?"

    Paul Presser
    Custodian
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