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Bristol Palin As Herself

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Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.
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Bristol Palin As Herself

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol will appear on the ABC Family program The Secret Life Of The American Teenager playing herself. What do you think?
  • "Every teenager should be informed about the consequences a pregnancy can have on their parent's vice presidential candidacy."

    Jerry Klein Appliance Repairman
  • "It's refreshing to see a single mother get out there and earn an honest living on television instead of looking for taxpayer handouts."

    Dan Smith Assistant Controller
  • "This will warn teen girls that having sex before marriage may lead to having to appear on shitty TV shows."

    Ruth Stemmons Training Developer

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