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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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British Soldiers Videotaped Brutalizing Iraqi Teens

The assault on four Iraqi teenagers by members of the British military, as well as the cameraman's mocking commentary, has enraged people throughout the Middle East. What do you think?
  • "This is the worst thing to entertain the British since The Benny Hill Show."

    Erin Van Dam Fitness Trainer
  • "These long deployments have kept them separated from the Irish for too long."

    Joseph Izzo Systems Analyst
  • "So let me get this straight: You're telling me that something has enraged people throughout the Middle East?"

    Sergei Pulinko Sales Manager
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