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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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British: UFOs Aren't Real

A recently declassified British Ministry of Defence report says that UFOs can be explained as natural, though bizarre, phenomena. What do you think?
  • "This causes me to doubt everything I learned from a variety of Twilight Zone rip-offs."

    Gary Halverson Project Manager
  • "If there's no such thing as aliens, then how do you explain my mother-in-law? Haha! Please, rescue me from my marriage."

    Jodi Haber Garbage Man
  • "So they infiltrated the British Ministry of Defence. Right on schedule."

    Rick Previon Dancer
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