Bronx Zoo Loses Peacock

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Vol 47 Issue 19

Nation Wrestling With Notion Of Mark Cuban Winning NBA Title

DALLAS—Within hours of the Mavericks sweeping the Lakers Sunday to advance to the NBA Western Conference Finals, basketball fans across the United States began preparing themselves for the very real possibility of outspoken libertarian and tech bill...

Career Highlights Of Phil Jackson

Thirteen-time NBA champion Phil Jackson, the man who most thoroughly embodies the idea of the basketball guru, is saying he’ll hang it up now that his Lakers have been eliminated from the playoffs.

Area Man Has Some Pretty Shitty Mob Ties

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Despite local contractor Danny Polazza's frequent claims that "he knows a few guys," friends confirmed Monday that the 42-year-old's ties to the Mafia are actually pretty shitty.

Shriver, Schwarzenegger Separate

After 25 years of marriage, former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and former NBC News reporter Maria Shriver announced they are separating.
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Bronx Zoo Loses Peacock

Following a high-profile cobra escape earlier this year, the world-famous Bronx Zoo had a peacock go missing this week. What do you think?

  • "I just feel bad for all the dumb dicks that paid to see this peacock."

    Nina Mackintosh
    Systems Analyst
  • "Oh shit, how poisonous are those things?"

    Steven Leclercq
    Pattern Maker
  • "Sure, it's easy to get out, but the moment you want to get in to fuck a penguin, security is all over your ass."

    Lee Hudson
    Unemployed
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