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Brooke Shields Regrets Losing Virginity At 22

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Brooke Shields Regrets Losing Virginity At 22

In a recent interview, actress Brooke Shields said she wished she had come to terms with her appearance at a younger age so she could have had sex earlier. What do you think?
  • "That's odd. My terrible body image has never once stopped me from having sex with anyone who would talk to me."

    Lydia McCormick Graphologist
  • "If she wants to know what it would've been like for her to have sex at 17, I can give her detailed scene-by-scene accounts of my early-1980s masturbation fantasies."

    Mark Luckett Box-Toe Flanger
  • "Yes, what an ugly woman."

    Alex Kelley Systems Analyst

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