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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Budget Deficit Hits Record

In the face of diminished government revenue, the federal budget deficit set a new record for the month of April. What do you think?

  • "I'm not willing to give up any benefits, but they can go ahead and make my grandkids' lives a living nightmare if that will help."

    Cara Svenonius Systems Analyst
  • "If they're anything like me, it's because America invested in their dumb brother-in-law's disastrous palm tree business."

    Dan Gamboa Rock Splitter
  • "It's all the Democrats’ fault! Or it's all the Republicans' fault–I'm not sure. What we know for certain, according to everything I've heard, is that it's entirely the fault of one of them or the other and certainly not due to any combination of the two."

    Michael Canty Cage Maker

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