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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Burger-Flipping Robot Could Replace Fast Food Workers

A Silicon Valley company has engineered a machine capable of making 360 burgers per hour by quickly slicing and layering ingredients, leading experts to believe the machines could replace fast food employees and put them out of work. What do you think?

  • “Great, this means more teens will be crowding the legal and medical fields.”

    Oliver Lumsden Sock Pairer
  • “I think there’s always going to be a segment of the fast food market that wants their burger cooked by a good old-fashioned, miserable human being.”

    Ken Hedges Cabinetmaker
  • “The first time someone gets a robotic claw in their food, there’ll be outcry.”

    Sallie Shikorra Mess Hall Decorator

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