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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Burger King Debuts Low-Fat ‘Satisfries’

Fast food chain Burger King is rolling out a new item that it calls Satisfries, a type of crinkle-cut french fry that allegedly has 40 percent less fat and 30 percent fewer calories than McDonald’s french fries. What do you think?

  • “Do you have to order them by name?”

    Ken Karabatsos Stuntman
  • “Too much science for me. I just like to eat.”

    Tina O’Connor Tabletop Sander
  • “That doesn’t sound satisfrying at all.”

    Dennis DiBenedetto Unemployed
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