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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Burmese Pythons Exterminating Everglades Mammals

A study in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy of Sciences links a drastic decline in raccoons and other mammals in the Florida everglades to the introduction of Burmese pythons. What do you think?

  • "No kidding. Now you understand why I dumped those damn pythons in the first place."

    Paul Wyndorf Foam Tester
  • "Wow, no more raccoons. This is great news for the Everglades' native trash can and attic populations."

    Corey McBain Accountant
  • "What is it with Floridians' unwavering determination to make their state a 1970s horror exploitation flick?"

    Sunita Cronin Unemployed

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