Bush 41 Christens Navy Ship

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Bush 41 Christens Navy Ship

Recently, President George H.W. Bush christened a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier bearing his name. What do you think?
  • "That's a bad idea. The last thing George Bush named after himself sank pretty fast."

    Brenna Gold
    Herbalist
  • "I must say I found it much more touching when Barbara christened the first nuclear-powered kindergarten."

    Jack Lay
    Soap Maker
  • "See this is the difference between us and North Korea. We use our nuclear power for peaceful purposes like boating."

    Robert Ronson
    Systems Analyst
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