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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Bush 41 Christens Navy Ship

Recently, President George H.W. Bush christened a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier bearing his name. What do you think?
  • "That's a bad idea. The last thing George Bush named after himself sank pretty fast."

    Brenna Gold Herbalist
  • "I must say I found it much more touching when Barbara christened the first nuclear-powered kindergarten."

    Jack Lay Soap Maker
  • "See this is the difference between us and North Korea. We use our nuclear power for peaceful purposes like boating."

    Robert Ronson Systems Analyst

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