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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Bush And The Weapons Inspections

Last week, Saddam Hussein agreed to U.N. weapons inspections in Iraq, but President Bush dismissed the offer as a cynical ploy. What do you think?
  • "It's clear to me that nothing short of war will stop Iraq from using its weapons."

    John Englund Software <br>Developer
  • "I'd feel a lot better about the president's handling of this global nuclear brinksmanship if he could actually pronounce the word nuclear."

    Miriam Knorr Teacher
  • "Bush should take up t'ai chi. He'd be a lot more relaxed and not so invady."

    Todd Thane Landscaper
  • "Weird. It's almost as if Bush wants to invade."

    Mitchell Ploeg Systems <br>Analyst
  • "This whole invasion-of-Iraq thing is so complicated. I wish Kurt Loder would explain it to me."

    Rick Dunst Cab Driver
  • "So, let me get this straight: Bush is saying he wants to invade Iraq, and Iraq is, like, trying to talk him out of it? Is this how invasions are usually handled?"

    Audra Franks Homemaker

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