adBlockCheck

Bush Designates USA Today "Small Business"

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Bush Designates USA Today "Small Business"

The Bush administration designated several large companies, including media giants USA Today and the Associated Press, as small businesses, thus inflating the administration's record for helping small companies. What do you think?
  • "There¹s no artificial inflation here. USA Today and the Associated Press really are the two smallest companies left in America."

    Darby Kreil
    Banquet Waiter
  • "Clearly, it was unwise to allow White House aid Gorlok The Gargantuan to differentiate small and big businesses, for, to Gorlok, all is puny!"

    Kaliel Roberts
    Systems Analyst
  • "Big deal. So Bush fudged some facts in order to make him look good. It's not like anybody died, um, this time."

    Thomas Brun
    Speech Writer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close