Bush In Jordan

Top Headlines

Recent News

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Bush In Jordan

President Bush is winding down a diplomatic tour with a visit to Jordan to meet with King Abdullah II and Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. What do you think?
  • "It makes sense to hold such a summit in Jordan. After all, the number of Bush effigies per capita are slightly lower there than the rest of the Middle East."

    Phil Watson Park Guide
  • "Hopefully, Bush has learned a great deal on this big, long travel trip. For example, he has probably learned where Jordan is. Or at least that Jordan is a country in the world."

    Vic West Building Superintendent
  • "Extravagant meals, five-star hotels, vibrant cultural entertainment—the president is finally getting an accurate picture of what's going on on the ground."

    Brianna McCoy Candy Maker


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close