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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.
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Bush Knew About Katrina

In spite of his assertions to the contrary, reports say that Bush was informed of the worst-case scenario surrounding Hurricane Katrina, and was even videotaped being briefed. What do you think?
  • "That video was taken way out of context. If you step back and view it as just another mistake made by the administration, it's not that bad at all."

    Wally Cox Rental-Car Associate
  • "All this proves is he attended the meeting. There's absolutely no evidence to suggest that he was actually listening."

    Heather North Tuck Pointer
  • "Well, he cared enough to sit through an entire boring meeting about it."

    Alan Hewitt Systems Analyst

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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

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