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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bush Lifts Offshore Drilling Ban

To give the appearance of combating high oil prices, President Bush lifted a long-standing executive order prohibiting offshore drilling. What do you think?
  • "How does that lower oil prices? Would it be like a farmers' market, where I drive down to the Gulf Coast and buy barrels of crude direct? "

    Gretchen McEneaney Systems Analyst
  • "Of course—he's thinking 'legacy'."

    Brian Piper Computer Salesperson
  • "Is there a ban on printing more money? If so he should lift that too and fix the economy while he's at it."

    Don O'Connor Painter

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