Bush Nominates Anti-Gay Surgeon General

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Bush Nominates Anti-Gay Surgeon General

Dr. James W. Holsinger, Jr., Bush's nominee for Surgeon General authored a 1991 medical paper arguing that homosexuality is unnatural and unhealthy. What do you think?
  • "I guess there's no one more qualified to talk about the possible dangers of homosexuality than a blown-out asshole."

    Johnny Shields
    Administrative Service Manager
  • "Yes, but Holsinger wrote that right after Antonio broke up with him. Clearly the guy was hurting a little bit."

    Bryan Seifkes
  • "That's a good start, but I'll reserve judgment until I make sure he doesn't have some bizarre pro-masturbation agenda."

    Meg Niles
    Amusement Machine Servicer