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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bush Pictured With Abramoff

According to a recent article in Time, scandal-tainted lobbyist Jack Abramoff has been pictured with President Bush on no fewer than six occasions. What do you think?
  • "Especially incriminating is the 1970 photo of the two men sitting near one another at an anti-Vietnam rally."

    Jennie Smith Systems Analyst
  • "Can you blame them? Who can resist buying the photographs that are taken when you're screaming your head off during roller-coaster rides?"

    Robert Cordell Product Tester
  • "Those photos are no big deal; my understanding is that Bush also asked Abramoff for his autograph numerous times."

    Brett Wean General Manager
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