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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Bush Pressed To Change Staff

President Bush has been under pressure from both parties to reinvigorate his office by bringing in new, more experienced staff members. What do you think?
  • "Bush doesn't need to hire new people, he just needs to give them new nicknames."

    Jason Lange Systems Analyst
  • "I guess I'm not the only one getting pretty bored with Alphonso Jackson as secretary of housing and urban development."

    Loran Clay Speech Pathologist
  • "I thought Bush had run out of friends to appoint."

    Andy Garcera Retail Manager

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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