adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
End Of Section
  • More News

Bush Promotes Hydrogen As Alternative Fuel Source

President Bush gave an Earth Day address in California reaffirming his commitment to hydrogen as the alternative fuel of the future. What do you think?
  • "I don't know much about hydrogen, but if you can soak a rag in it or just sniff it straight from the can, I'm all for it."

    Dan Kinicki Jeweler
  • "If Bush is trying to save the environment, we must be in worse shape than I thought."

    Jackie Kennedy Computer Repair Tech
  • "He knows we're talking about cars and not bombs, right?"

    Scott Haalstrom Grocer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close