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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Bush Targeted Al-Jazeera?

According to a leaked memo, President Bush talked about targeting the headquarters of Arabic news station Al-Jazeera in a meeting with Tony Blair in 2004. What do you think?
  • "What, don't we have perfectly good TV stations to bomb right here in America?"

    Nate Hare Roofer
  • "God… Okay, so the president of the United States has to watch every single word he says now?"

    Edna Donn Loan Interviewer
  • "He did, but it wasn't for political reasons…Bush was upset because Al-Jazeera had canceled his favorite executions program."

    Geoffrey Battle Veterinary Technician
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