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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Bush's Not-So-Candid Chat

A televised conversation between President Bush and American and Iraqi troops that was originally presented as a candid chat turned out to be carefully scripted to address Bush's goals for the war and the new Iraqi constitution. What do you think?
  • "This would be a major problem for the president if anybody cared anymore about whether or not the things he did were fake."

    Gerald Huppmann Arbitrator
  • "Oh, so that explains the part where the Islamic fundamentalist ran in with a bomb and was single-handedly subdued by the president."

    Rainey Milford Daycare Attendant
  • "It just shows that he cares enough to pretend to like the troops. That should be worth something."

    Sean Guidry Realtor

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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