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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Cain Drops Out

After a Georgia woman came forward and claimed she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO announced he would suspend his campaign for the presidency. What do you think?

  • "That's too bad. He was a serious contender to be president of the United States.”

    Josh Jones Revenue Agent
  • "If Herman Cain's entire presidential campaign was engineered solely as an elaborate ruse for a business executive to scapegoat the news media for his serial marital infidelities, I say, brilliant, brilliant work, sir."

    Kenneth Guy Machine Burrer
  • "Wow. It takes a special kind of extramarital affair to break up a run for president. She must really be something else."

    Denise Sugarman Counseling Psychologist

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