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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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California Has Nation's Worst Air

According to an annual survey by the American Lung Association, California cities have the worst air quality in the United States. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but that's only if you measure ‘quality’ by the amount of harmful particulate matter and pollution in the air."

    Leslie Calvert Systems Analyst
  • “Sure, if you focus on the negative. I prefer to think California has the best pollution!”

    Fabrizio Dugmore Tenter-Frame Operator
  • "Note taken: Move to Hollywood and try to become famous. Thanks for encouraging my dreams!"

    Sean Atkins Waiter

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